Don’t Ask – Do Tell


I don’t suggest that driving a Lamborghini resembles riding a skateboard. However, there are similarities; for instance each has four wheels. I don’t suggest that seeking a wife resembles hiring an employee. However, there are similarities; for instance both require a decision on whether a long term relationship would work.

There is no shortage of advice for serious young men courting purposefully, including lists of questions he could pose to the young lady in order to get to know her. Likewise, anyone can find lists of suggested questions to ask a prospective employee in order to get a sense of how that individual might work out.

One problem, of course, is that those very questions are available to everyone and any reasonably alert candidate can devise suitable answers to the anticipated questions.

Let’s learn a superior interview method from Abraham’s chief of staff, Eliezer, sent to select a bride for Isaac. In Genesis 24:21, Eliezer suspects that Rebecca might be the right woman, but is not yet certain. We would expect him to continue his due diligence, perhaps inquiring about her background.

Instead, he presents her with expensive jewelry! Isn’t that a bit premature? Furthermore, the Torah spends many words detailing the jewelry’s precise weight.

…and the man took a golden ring weighing a beka and two bracelets upon her hands, ten of gold was their weight. (Genesis 24:22)

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