By Floyd and Mary Beth Brown
It's been called a dirty little secret. So what is it?
"This is the dark underbelly of cohabitation," said Brad Wilcox, sociology professor at the University of Virginia. "Cohabitation has become quite common, and most people think, 'What's the harm?' The harm is we're increasing a pattern of relationships that's not a good thing for children."
And we aren't just talking about numbers either. These are real children with heart-wrenching stories. Such as:
Two-year-old Devon Shackleford of Mesa, Ariz. was drowned in an apartment complex swimming pool by Derek Chappell, 25, in 2004. Chappell committed the murder because he believed Devon caused problems in his relationship with the little boy's mother.
The body of 9-month-old Jermauri Craig was found with bruising around both eyes at a motel where 21-year-old Travels Bullard was caring for the baby while his mother was at work. Bullard faces murder charges in the July death of the infant who suffered a skull fracture along with bite marks to the side of his face and arm.
And a little girl named Olivia Scoggins died in August, a few weeks before her second birthday, at the hands of Kerry Joe Smith, 21, of Oklahoma City. Smith has been charged with sexually abusing and murdering the daughter of Wendy Scroggins, who faces charges of permitting child abuse.
Statistics reveal children of divorce or never-married mothers living in a household with unrelated adults are significantly more likely to suffer from serious child abuse and death than are children raised by both biological parents in marriage. These findings are the result of 10 years of data from the National Crime Victimization Survey conducted by the U.S. Justice Department. According to a study based on Missouri abuse reports published by American Academy of Pediatrics in 2005, children raised in these types of situations are nearly 50 times as likely to die of inflicted injuries as their peers in traditional family homes.
"I've seen many cases of physical and sexual abuse that comes up with boyfriends, stepparents," said Eliana Gil, the clinical director of Childhaven, a national abuse prevention group. "It comes down to the fact they don't have a relationship established with these kids. Their primary interest is really the adult partner, and they may find themselves more irritated when there's a problem with children."  
That is what happened one summer evening in 2006 when Jayden Cangro, like all 2-year-olds do one time or another, was resisting bedtime. While his mother Carly Moore was at work, her live-in boyfriend became frustrated and angry after attempting to put Jayden to bed. The little boy ended up dying from injuries he sustained after being thrown nine feet across a room by the mother's boyfriend that night.
And sadly, the list goes on of case after case of serious and fatal abuse.
Census data confirms that family patterns over the last 30 years have dramatically changed as cohabitation and single-parenthood have become more common. Where as in 1977 close to 80 percent of children in America lived with both parents, only around 60 percent of them now do.
"These boyfriends increasingly have been raised without fathers and been abused themselves," said Patrick Fagan, a family policy specialist with the Family Research Council. "Among the inner-city poor, the turnover of male partners is high. Where's a boy getting the model of what a father is like?"
So you may ask, what can be done to stop the cycle and help these vulnerable children?
Plenty. Undoubtedly, marriage is the safest place for a mother and her children to live according to a report by the public policy and research organization, the Heritage Foundation. However, the report says "current government policy is either indifferent to or actively hostile to the institution of marriage. The welfare system, for example, can penalize low-income parents who decide to marry. Such hostility toward marriage is poor public policy; government instead should foster healthy and enduring marriages."
But notice, the report says not only would children be safer married homes, but so would their mothers.
Data from the Department of Justice's National Crime Victimization Survey reveals never-married mothers suffer domestic violence at greater than double the rate of mothers who are currently or have been married.
The government should not penalize parents for marrying through means-tested welfare programs but should implement legislation and policies which decrease the bias against marriage but foster and strengthen marriage in America. Not only has that, but a culture of marriage needs to be restored in the United States. Our countries most vulnerable lives are at dire risk.
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